Strength of the Human Spirit

Grieving with a shocking death in the family, the last few days have been quiet and somber. Indian traditions for post-death ceremonies vary vastly depending upon religion, region, and caste. Basically we held a two hour ‘besna’ (bes means sit) for everyone that knew Akash (younger cousin, 20 years old) to come spend time together and pay respects to the family. During the ceremony, there was traditional music performed as well as prayers lead. Other than that, we have been staying in the home and spending time with family/friends who visit.

Akash was a very lively guy who was passionate about cars, food, and music. This was my first time building a relationship with him and after a few weeks I had begun to treat him as a little brother. He was constantly out with friends after dinner and created many schemes to get out of classwork- reminded me of my high school days. I was consistently amused and secretly a fan of the hip-hop he’d have playing in the car and will always remember his carefree attitude and loving personality.

This morning was the first time we ventured out of the house. We chose to drive to a lake (Thol Lake) about 40 km away from the city. The lake is also a bird sanctuary and we came to watch the sunrise. Waking up before dawn was difficult, but the views were peaceful and getting out of the house was a good break. There is no quick solution to a tragedy like this but starting to understand the strength of the human spirit and spending time writing, reading, and connecting with family. 

Highs & Lows

Time in the slum community is filled with highs and lows. As promised, I'm sharing a recent triumph and challenge. 

Thursday afternoon was my second meeting with the girls of Vinay Mandhir. There were 5 girls who participated in the afternoon activity which ended up becoming a conversation on what they wanted me to teach. We discussed a range of choices from health and hygiene to life skills- they ended up confessing that while they can read English, they have a hard time with the comprehension and translating it back to Gujarati. So, we decided I would bring an English book and help them understand what it means in Gujarati (this will be a good challenge for me too!). Anyways, I left feeling very encouraged and walked through the slum community to the community farm to help plant some seeds. 

My walk from the hostel to the community center is about 15 minutes and I walk passed the same families each time I go. This afternoon, one of the women along the path asked me to sit down with her. Initially, I told her I had to go somewhere to do some work. She replied by reminding me that I will always have something to do and that I should just take a moment to sit down. I agreed and sat with her. She reminded me she had met me a week back at a different event. We spoke about her family and daily life for a few minutes. Then, out of nowhere, I heard a smack and a cry of pain. I looked behind me to my left and there was a girl about 15 years old sitting outside her home. Her face was buried in her hands and she was crying. Her mom then came out and hit her again- the crying continued and the auntie I was sitting with told the other auntie to stop. I tried to ask why she was hitting her daughter and she replied it was because she wasn't cleaning the home. I froze in a mix of shock, fury, and shyness. I didn't know what to do and ended up leaving the situation soon after. Leaving felt shameful, but the situation was beyond me and I felt unprepared to confront the violence. 

That span of forty minutes had such a wide range of emotions, I was left at an odd neutral point. 

I feel fortunate for being able to spend whatever time I can in the community and share as many smiles as I have, but I was quickly reminded of how harsh of a reality the community lives and how many hardships there are.

Resurfaced

Deep exhale. After a month and a half, which felt like a year in itself, I closed-out my fellowship with Indicorps. It was a hard decision to make, but I eventually realized my goals were not aligned with those of the fellowship. Kind of crazy I’m now in India with no concrete plan but I’m excited to spend the next few days decompressing and thinking towards how I want to spend the remaining time here. Enthusiastic to actually learn culture and to connect with family- as well as travel! Feeling relieved and confident, finally starting to feel like myself again after a crazy fifty days.

Feel free to be in touch more now- I’ll be able to be more communicative and probably more blog-active. 

Close to My Heart

I wear the same necklace every day and have it photographed as my blog background. It means a lot to me and sometimes I rub a charm when I'm thinking through a problem. There have always been three charms on it, and I was just given a new one. While the ohm and heart pendants are important to me, I will not be wearing them in India because they can be somewhat flashy. The remaining two, however, will stay around my neck and refresh my motivation and strength. 

The first is a quote from Mohandas Gandhi: "Be the change you wish to see in the world". This is important for me because the words were a precursor for my hop off the beaten path and a motivation for me to try something new and push myself to do something that is important to me. 

The second has a mehndi pattern on the front and a small ohm & inscription of the word 'breathe' on the back. Hopefully this will remind me that the year will be a challenge and, similar to yoga, I should always find my breath. Being honest with myself will give me strength and help me progress through the year.