Strength of the Human Spirit

Grieving with a shocking death in the family, the last few days have been quiet and somber. Indian traditions for post-death ceremonies vary vastly depending upon religion, region, and caste. Basically we held a two hour ‘besna’ (bes means sit) for everyone that knew Akash (younger cousin, 20 years old) to come spend time together and pay respects to the family. During the ceremony, there was traditional music performed as well as prayers lead. Other than that, we have been staying in the home and spending time with family/friends who visit.

Akash was a very lively guy who was passionate about cars, food, and music. This was my first time building a relationship with him and after a few weeks I had begun to treat him as a little brother. He was constantly out with friends after dinner and created many schemes to get out of classwork- reminded me of my high school days. I was consistently amused and secretly a fan of the hip-hop he’d have playing in the car and will always remember his carefree attitude and loving personality.

This morning was the first time we ventured out of the house. We chose to drive to a lake (Thol Lake) about 40 km away from the city. The lake is also a bird sanctuary and we came to watch the sunrise. Waking up before dawn was difficult, but the views were peaceful and getting out of the house was a good break. There is no quick solution to a tragedy like this but starting to understand the strength of the human spirit and spending time writing, reading, and connecting with family. 

Miracle of a Minute

After finishing chopping veggies for lunch, I was sitting and responding to emails while the aunties completed the actual cooking (volunteers help with prep, but we are rarely allowed to actually cook- most likely because we are too slow lol). Anyways, I was sitting in the large room before the kitchen. One side of the room opens to a computer lab, with floor-to-ceiling clear plastic walls, another door opens to the store of traditional clothing created by women in the community (another blog entry in itself).

Then, through the front door, a man in a bright orange pagri (similar to a turban) walks into the room holding a musical instrument I’ve never seen before. I was quickly told it was called a ‘ravanahatha’ and that it was a traditional instrument from Rajasthan with a sound similar to a violin. 

Within a minute of the man walking into the room a staff member grabbed a dhol and a jam session of sorts began. Various other instruments were introduced and before we knew it there was an amazing energy in the room and an ordinary minute was transformed into something unforgettable.

I’ve included a video and picture below. The video is of the last song he shared with us- during the song before a volunteer graciously placed a plate for appreciative notes. I want to point that out since he selflessly shared music without every mentioning the desire of payment. Maybe this is another example of gift-economy?

It’s hard to capture this experience in words, but it was amazing and random and SO India.

Dosti

Preface: Dosti means friendship in Hindi.

The disparity in quality regarding Indian education is drastic. Municipal schools (only free until 8^th standard) are over-capacity and under-served. There have been moves recently to improve the situation (Right to Education Act), but sheer volume makes this a difficult situation. On the other hand, private schools (which are attended by all that can afford it) are generally creative environments with a range of skills taught, including sports, drama, art, music, etc.

India, as a country, is a vast and diverse community. However, it is left divided due the social pressures related to wealth. For example, it is quite likely that a child attending private-school is not aware of the hardships another child his age perseveres through on a daily basis; hardships like malnutrition, inadequate education, and unhygienic housing. Likewise, less-fortunate children are unlikely to understand that importance of discipline and education as a foundation for their lives.

Tuesday, November 6^th, was the first session of a program called Dosti. I spoke about this program in an earlier post- the idea is to create relationships between groups of children that would normally not interact. The event was facilitated through buddy groups between one student attending municipal school and one attending a local private-school. The pairs completed various activities to help them get-to-know each other.  They created nametags and a group painting, as well as completed a trust obstacle course and learned about Gandhiji together.

We debriefed with both groups of children afterwards and asked them what they learned through the day. The children attending private schools said they felt the other students were nicer to each other (specially, “treat each other as family”) and didn’t have cliques like they had in their school. The municipal school children mentioned the high level of discipline and respect the other students have and how well-spoken they are.

All in all, the day was a success in that the seed of friendship was planted. I am excited to plan another installment and to assist in the creation of new friendships built on the foundation of understanding and love.

Please enjoy the collage I created below of the days events.

Serving of the Day: Seva

Preface: "Seva" means service in Hindi

If you attended a free restaurant, how would you pay it forward? That is the concept of Seva Cafe an on-going experiment in "gift economy". The central philosophy of Seva Cafe is to give a complimentary dinner to guests and treat them like family. Many smiles are exchanged and most of the people fueling the experiment are volunteers.

Friday evening was my first time engaging with this establishment. I arrived around 6:00PM and began by meeting the other volunteers and few staff members. We set up the space with tables, chairs, decorations (Friday evening was fully occupied by a private birthday party), and dinnerware. The menu was elaborate (lemon mint juice, basket chaat, mutter paneer, mixed veg sabji, parata, rice, and kheer) and specifically chosen by the host a few days prior. The cooking began at 2PM so by the time I arrived, it was just paratas that were being finished. 

The first responsibility a volunteer gets is dishwashing. So, I spent the evening washing dishes and dancing around to the fun music playing. It was a great experience. A few of the guests even came and asked to wash their own dishes. It was a nice gesture and created a dynamic sense of community. I'm excited to spend more evenings at Seva Cafe in the future and am excited to visit the other locations experimenting with gift economy.

Highs & Lows

Time in the slum community is filled with highs and lows. As promised, I'm sharing a recent triumph and challenge. 

Thursday afternoon was my second meeting with the girls of Vinay Mandhir. There were 5 girls who participated in the afternoon activity which ended up becoming a conversation on what they wanted me to teach. We discussed a range of choices from health and hygiene to life skills- they ended up confessing that while they can read English, they have a hard time with the comprehension and translating it back to Gujarati. So, we decided I would bring an English book and help them understand what it means in Gujarati (this will be a good challenge for me too!). Anyways, I left feeling very encouraged and walked through the slum community to the community farm to help plant some seeds. 

My walk from the hostel to the community center is about 15 minutes and I walk passed the same families each time I go. This afternoon, one of the women along the path asked me to sit down with her. Initially, I told her I had to go somewhere to do some work. She replied by reminding me that I will always have something to do and that I should just take a moment to sit down. I agreed and sat with her. She reminded me she had met me a week back at a different event. We spoke about her family and daily life for a few minutes. Then, out of nowhere, I heard a smack and a cry of pain. I looked behind me to my left and there was a girl about 15 years old sitting outside her home. Her face was buried in her hands and she was crying. Her mom then came out and hit her again- the crying continued and the auntie I was sitting with told the other auntie to stop. I tried to ask why she was hitting her daughter and she replied it was because she wasn't cleaning the home. I froze in a mix of shock, fury, and shyness. I didn't know what to do and ended up leaving the situation soon after. Leaving felt shameful, but the situation was beyond me and I felt unprepared to confront the violence. 

That span of forty minutes had such a wide range of emotions, I was left at an odd neutral point. 

I feel fortunate for being able to spend whatever time I can in the community and share as many smiles as I have, but I was quickly reminded of how harsh of a reality the community lives and how many hardships there are.

Current Happenings

Over the last three weeks I have tried to find a fit for myself and develop a schedule to engage with the communities which surround the ashram. I have been fortunate enough to see the majority of current projects, ranging from health to education and from children to elderly, and in the last week I've found a space to focus my time.

I have started helping with two community gardens, one in an NGO-constructed center and the other in front of a home in the slum community (Ramapir No Tekro). We are cleaning the spaces and starting to plant okra, tomatoes, cilantro, and eggplant. The garden in front of the family's home is especially important because it has brought five families together and sets an example of teamwork for others in the community. The women have been amazing to work with and the children really love to be involved. There are other families that have already started asking for advice/assistance for the land around their homes.

Also, I've recently started "working" with 10th standard girls from a nearby hostel. In my first meeting with them we created name tags and then they each wrote something nice about each other. It was a nice exercise and I hope it reminded them of their good qualities and gave them a reason to smile (they have such amazing smiles!). 

My most recent engagement has been sitting with widowed maajis (maaji = elderly women) in the slum community and helping them in any way. We tried to offer to help with house work, but they were not having it so now another volunteer and I sit and talk with them while helping them with some of the sewing work they do. It's been a nice way to practice Gujarati and to interact with a part of the community that generally gets forgotten. 

Another totally different thing I'm doing which is more planning focused, as opposed to directly community focused, is create a Dosti (meaning friendship) program. We are inviting 32 7th standard private school students to the ashram to engage with 32 7th standard students from the slum community. Currently thinking of activities that will help create a foundation for a friendship, and fighting the chance of students only focusing on their differences. 

All in all, my key take away from the last few weeks has been to live without a back-to-back schedule and let the day create itself. I still have specific things to do at specific times, but what I'm learning is to let the time between "meetings" exist and to appreciate the moments where anything can happen.

Daily Commute Surprise

After taking a rickshaw a few times to the "work" site in the morning, I realized it was a huge ripoff. I was paying between 50-60 rupees each way while the bus was only 9 rupees each way. So for the last few days, I utilized the public transit system- chaotic or not. And while Ahmedabad is esteemed for the BRTS (bus rapid transport system), my route doesn't align to the BRTS routes. I would have loved the on-time, unpacked, AC buses though... In either case, I digress.

I needed to be a bit early on Wednesday so I arrived at the station at 8:10AM and then, like a ray of sunshine, I saw my bus arrive fairly empty, with seats available. After I boarded, I realized there were only women on the bus. I confirmed it would follow the same route with the driver. I sat down with a smile and enjoyed my 20 minute ride in peace without the worry of being shoved or the stress of not being sure whose hand is grabbing my side  (it was an elderly women...but for a second I thought I was falling victim to the stereotypical Indian public bus stories I had heard).

While I feel a little bad that this less crowed, more peaceful bus is only allowed for women, I'm also really happy it exists.