I closed the Seva chapter of my trip a week ago. It was similar to when I quit work- lots of emotions and feeling a little threadbare after having left everyone. My relationship with India has formed through the lens of service, and my time was spent with Indians who live without the luxury of things I took for granted. I am excited to see family but to some degree I feel like it’s a persona changing experience. The luxuries we claim, as NRIs, are so harshly different from the lives of the people I have interacted with for the past 5 months. I’m not ashamed of the experiences I've been privileged to have in my 25 years of life, rather, I’m struggling with how to let my heart feel comfortable having see the other side of things. Some may say ignorance would have been bliss.
On a positive note (I do still dub myself a realistic optimist), I have loved the experiences of the last five months. I have met so many amazing children and inspiring people. My time has really planted a seed in my heart to return in some capacity and be part of India again.
A few of my most special experiences were eating pani puri roadside with some of the kids and talking to one of the girls about resolving a quarrel with her friends. The friendships built through the Dosti Project have been so incredibly amazing to see and hearing the children scream “Ami-didi” when they saw me are memories that will remain close to my heart. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have spent these five months here. It sounds so cliché but I am pretty sure I gained more from this experience than I was able to give.
All and all one of my biggest lessons learned has been the importance of clarity of heart. My heart and mind were focused on service when I left the states in August. Unfortunately, my first go wasn't as smooth as I would've hoped. The fallout left me in a week-long haze of confusion, but then I found a new organization and miraculously was able to focus back on my original intent. Opportunities presented themselves organically and I was able to persevere through daily obstacles because I had clarity of heart.
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On a positive note (I do still dub myself a realistic optimist), I have loved the experiences of the last five months. I have met so many amazing children and inspiring people. My time has really planted a seed in my heart to return in some capacity and be part of India again.
A few of my most special experiences were eating pani puri roadside with some of the kids and talking to one of the girls about resolving a quarrel with her friends. The friendships built through the Dosti Project have been so incredibly amazing to see and hearing the children scream “Ami-didi” when they saw me are memories that will remain close to my heart. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have spent these five months here. It sounds so cliché but I am pretty sure I gained more from this experience than I was able to give.
All and all one of my biggest lessons learned has been the importance of clarity of heart. My heart and mind were focused on service when I left the states in August. Unfortunately, my first go wasn't as smooth as I would've hoped. The fallout left me in a week-long haze of confusion, but then I found a new organization and miraculously was able to focus back on my original intent. Opportunities presented themselves organically and I was able to persevere through daily obstacles because I had clarity of heart.
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Ami-I enjoyed reading your blog-I can relate to to so much of what you wrote! enjoy the rest of your trip in India! :)
ReplyDeleteAmen sister. Completely agree on the clarity of heart piece - you have to find your passion, even in service to truly give. Wonderful post Ami! See you in 2 months yay!
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